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Showing posts with the label moving to bali

Night Terrors, Sleep Walking, Hormone Imbalance and Changing Your Life

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I've started to get night terrors again. In the past, I've always had someone next to me to grab me by the shoulders, calm me down and soothe me back to sleep. Now, I have no one. It was my very first experience of dealing with it alone. On Monday night I fell asleep early, around 8pm. I curled into bed with my hot water bottle by my feet and was grateful that a hard day was coming to an end. I'd resigned from my job... tears had been shed. I'd made the big decision to leave Cape Town where I had tried so hard to build a life for myself. A huge part of me felt (feels) like a failure. So needless to say, I was exhausted, falling into a quick, dreamless slumber. Then, suddenly, I shot up in bed... heart hammering out of my chest, gasping for breath. I was literally terrified. Even today, I can't quite figure out what I was doing but I think I thought there was something in the bed with me. I started throwing the blankets around, looking for 'something.' When ...

Why Not?

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It's funny... no... it's SCARY just how much your life can change in such a short amount of time. At the beginning of this month when Lyndon wanted to meet up, I was nervous about what he was going to say. He made me the happiest girl in the world by telling me he's miserable without me and he wanted to try again. We had 6 days after that... 6 days of pure bliss.. Of cuddles, kisses, adventures with penguins, nights in with nandos and red wine, laughing throughout games on his Xbox. I was so happy. I fell more in love than ever before. Things just felt right. Then, me being me, I went and cocked it all up. The horrible thing is that I really don't believe that it was my fault. I've got a major hormone imbalance right now. Some of the big symptoms are irritability / mood swings, night sweats, acne, fatigue (I mean, on our first weekend back together I was too tired to join him at his friends birthday BBQ), and depression. It was Sunday... we were at a wine farm finis...