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Showing posts from January, 2017

Day #9: 30 Day Writing Challenge

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Post some words of wisdom that speak to you: This could not have come at a better time..... last night when I was having yet another night alone (as always these days) I started watching some videos on youtube about how to walk away from toxic relationships. The entire video was extremely insightful and helpful but something stood out more-so than everything else combined: "If you're falling asleep next to somebody every night but yet you still feel alone, why not rather be alone?" That one question changed my perspective on everything.  The same woman also spoke about how she found a journal her brother had written in the day before he died and the entry was so sad. He had been miserable in life.  My own journal for literally every day of 2017 so far is filled with 25 pages of sadness, anger, pain and confusion. I am miserable too..... and I realised last night that if I die, I don't want to nothing but a morbid journal to remember me by. I don't want to be sad. ...

Day #8: 30 Day Writing Challenge

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Share something you struggle with: I struggle with all of my insecurities right now.  I struggle to find peace in my mind and happiness in my soul.  It's gone.  I struggle to find myself in this dark place I have wound up in.  I have lost myself.  The confident, secure, happy, independent woman I was a year ago has vanished.  I want me back - but I can't find my way.  I don't know whether to go left or right.  I'm standing at the turning point getting whiplash from looking at two such opposite directions. Which one do I choose?  I can't keep standing at the T-junction.  I am embarrassing myself.  I'm making a fool of myself.  I'm holding up the traffic.  I'm so torn.  So lost.  I don't think I have ever been so broken. 

Day #7: 30 Day Writing Callenge

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List 10 Songs You Are Loving Right Now: If it isn't clear to you already - there are a lot of demons I am facing in my life right now. Music is my way of relating, expressing and understanding myself and my troubles. I won't lie - I am depressed. Almost to the extent where I feel like turning to someone for help, but I won't do that. I have fought depression alone before and I will again. I will be OK again.  People often say they are depressed. I truly don't think the majority of people who say that know what they mean. They don't.  Depression is a scary, dark place. You are alone - but you don't want company. You see food, but you can't it even when your stomach grumbles. You smile, but it hurts from how fake it. It's like your face is shattering more-so than you're spreading happiness. It doesn't feel right.  You see people and try to mask your emotions - but it is impossible. People can feel your energy. You can see them being brought down by...

Day #6: 30 Day Writing Challenges

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5 Ways to Win My Heart: Surprises. A flower on my windshield, a dress laid out on the bed with a note telling me to be ready at 8pm, a book I've been wanting for ages, a whole day planned for us to enjoy together... it could be the simplest of things. I just want to see an effort to want to surprise me - without me needing to think or hint.... Coffee in bed... you won't be able to speak to me in the morning without this.... be warned. Loyalty. Look at me and think of me as the only girl in the world in your eyes. I hate cheaters. I hate wondering eyes. It hurts. Its disrespectful. Its one way to make me close off to you in a heartbeat. Be proud of me... hold my hand in public. Give me cuddles. Want a picture with me if we're out and about doing something cool. Call me your girlfriend when introducing me to people.... speak highly of me... it goes such a long way to make me feel good about myself....  Be playful. Tickle, tackle, laugh, joke, play twister and scrabble and Hea...

Day #4: 30 Day Writing Challenge

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List 5 places you want to visit: I'm not counting my aforementioned fantasies of Bali as I have already been there...  No, this is a list of places I have yet to visit but one day most certainly will.  Ireland (Sexy Irish Accents.... Can't Resist.... Yes my reasons for wanting to visit Ireland seem shallow.. they actually do stem deeper than that but I'm knackered and can't really be arsed to write much today.... so much for a writing challenge!) India (Yoga / Meditation / Silence Retreats, Culture, Spirituality, Self-Growth!) Canada (Snowboard!) Machu Pichu, Peru (Hike!) Iceland (to see the Northern Lights, Glacier Caves) I also really want to go to a hot air balloon festival. Going in a hot air balloon is so high up on my bucket list... I'm still deciding where best to treat myself to this little excursion. Turkey, perhaps??? PS today was a good day playing in the snow in Mallorca, Spain. Adios, for now.

Day #4: 30 Day Writing Challenge

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Write about someone who inspires you: Took myself on a 5k walk yesterday while listening to The Great Gatsby. "Fill your life with adventures, not things. Have stories to tell not things to show." I really don't mean to sound pretentious here, but I hardly ever think about people who inspire me.   It must be a bad thing to not have someone that you look up to in life. The people close to me and around me haven't exactly been role models through the years... whatever I have wanted, I have gone after for myself. The majority of people are usually telling me I can't do something and I decide then and there to prove them wrong. I don't feed off of anyone else, some grand person to build myself off of. I've quite literally always kicked myself from the nest and built my own wings on the way down. I guess in that sense I could say thank you to all of those people who have told me I 'can't do it,' here. I could thank them for giving me the drive to sh...

Day #3: 30 Day Writing Challenge

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What are your top 3 Pet Peeves: Disrespecting others . Whether that be by means of cheating, lying, stealing, bullying, cancelling plans at the last minute, making plans with someone and then deciding you have somewhere better to be, breaking promises, being fake... it hurts me. Someone disrespecting me or someone I know - it quite literally has the ability to drive me crazy. Everyone in life deserves respect and peace. Think about how you would want to be treated. Would you want someone else to be messing around with another guy or girl behind your back? No. So don't do it to another person. Would you want someone else to be lying to you? Even if the truth hurts, it is the truth and nothing can hurt worse than finding out you have been lied to regardless of the pain the truth may cause. Would you want someone else stealing your valued property or picking you apart for your inevitable flaws??? We all have them. You may have stretch-marks, a big nose, you may be a bit tubby or too t...

Day #2: 30 Day Writing Challenge

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Write something that someone told you about yourself that you never forgot: Guys have told me earth-shatteringly beautiful things about myself in the past. Some guys are good with words. Some guys can tell you exactly what you want to hear. At the time of reading their compliments I am amazed - I think it is the most wonderful thing I have ever heard someone say about myself. I say I will never forget... but then when something goes wrong in my life, when the self-doubt builds and my confidence crumbles, all positive thoughts about myself evaporate as if they were never there. I don't remember the things people told me to make me feel good about myself, I don't remember anything. I wish I had saved the messages so I could reread them in a dark time - but in a moment of great sadness or relentless anger I delete the compliments from my memory. What I'm saying is that it is hard to remember good things someone says about you when you are going through a tough time in life. It...

Day #1 : 30 Day Writing Challenge

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Hello, 2017!  2016 was a disastrous blogging year for me - Bohemian Muses was unfairly neglected and to be honest, I think I'm going to have a pretty hard time starting her back up... but to help me along I've decided to do a 30 day writing challenge. Each day I will be given a prompt and need to write about whatever is handed to me. I am also journaling in a 2017 diary and have filled each page for the year thus far - that's exactly a 2 week run! So far, so good.  Today's writing challenge is quite simple, really. List 10 things that make you really happy: Reading , anywhere, any time.  Booktube . Watching other booktubers videos, filming my own, editing my own, interacting with other book lovers. It is the best community and changed my life. Here's the link to my booktube channel: Boho Bookworm Writing ... yeah, I can't really validate this one right now. Since November I have been in yet another dark place of serious writers block for personal reasons. Travel...